


Artificial Light

by AceMcshane



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Anxiety, Commitment, Emotions, F/M, Fluffy Ending, twissy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-06-01 00:21:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15130970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceMcshane/pseuds/AceMcshane
Summary: Missy has been struggling and the Doctor going away for a few days has not helped. Nardole tries to help - gets a bit scared, but has cat videos. The Doctor worries. Short Twissy trip out. Promises and assurances. I meant to go darker but posting my unpublished stuff and it is the fluff it is.





	Artificial Light

**Author's Note:**

> It took this lighter turn than I intended but sometimes a story sort of takes it's own direction. I'm aiming to get my unpublished works online. Not beta'd, so please excuse any editing mistakes I may have missed. I read over once it's live so will pop in and fix things that spring out when I revisit.

Nardole took a deep breath and entered. It put him on edge when she didn't give any response. Closing the door behind him he walked over to her.

She was sitting on the floor next to the projection of a window. It was cleverly done - the way the light was programmed to cast into the room. His footsteps echoed as he moved closer to her.

“Go away, you’re blocking my sunlight,” she said, not casting him so much as a glance.

“I brought you the makeup...things,” he said, rifling in his bag and pulling out cosmetic items that he was totally unfamiliar with.

She didn’t respond, and he sighed, not quite sure what to do.

“Been...uh...sitting there for long?” he said, getting no response. “Do you want somewhere more comfortable to sit?” he asked awkwardly. “You have a chair over there?”

She raised her eyes to meet his, and stared at him. “I have three comfortable places to sit and I have sat in them each today.”

“Ok, Missy - you’re not completely ok -  I don't mean you're crazy - because that's another debate, I mean you're not...yourself lately. Look, if you get up for the floor I’ll show you what else I brought you.”

The vacant expression she wore concerned him, but it changed to a slight intrigue at that point. She gradually got to her feet and walked over to the two armchairs that Nardole had stood beside, taking a seat again quickly. Nardole sat opposite and pulled out a paper cup, holding it out to her.

She smiled, and he felt relieved to get a reaction for her, it was worrying when she slipped into such intense detachment, and it was almost a given that it would happen if the Doctor was away.

“You got the large size” she said, looking gratefully the paper cup with “pick and mix” printed on the label. “And the jelly hearts. You're definitely moving in my ranking to least annoying visitor.”

“I will take that as a compliment?” Nardole said.

She looked at him quizzically, “it is a compliment. It's about the highest honor I can bestow.”

He wasn't sure whether to laugh. Sometimes he couldn't be sure if she was joking, so he settled on an uneasy smile.

She smiled, realising he was over analyzing his reaction and probably feeling very awkward in her presence. That made her happy on some level and sad on another. She shook it off, not prepared to start internalising.

“Bring me snakes and mice tomorrow?” she asked, although her tone left no room for debate.

“If you eat some real food. You can't live off sweets - you're not really eating much at all lately.”

Missy shrugged and brought her legs up, turning to the side. She looked cold, and he turned the heater up.

“Where is he?” she asked casually.

“He had one of those things... symposium...convention...something like that...remember? He will be back on the weekend?”

“Yes but when is the weekend?” she asked confused.

“Is your clock not working?”

“It was, but I punched it,” she said simply.

“Ah, well that would do it. Was there reason?” 

“Yes. I don't destroy the few things I have for no reason. Credit me with a little sanity dear.”

“Oh. Ok. Um…” he paused. His eye falling to her hand, casually hidden at her side. “You're bleeding...uh...you must have punched the clock hard then?”

Missy turned in her chair and tilted her head so that she had line of sight with the window. Focusing her gaze firmly on the dusky glow, she abruptly switched off communication.

Nardole didn’t have a clue what to do - he wasn’t going to force his company on her but he didnt feel it was ok to leave her alone when she was...like this. The Doctor telling him to just pop in more often while he was away was probably the most poorly thought out plan he had come up with in a long time. The last thing Missy actually wanted was anyone other than the Doctor to just drop in.

“Wanna play cards?” Nardole asked, with such a forced cheerfulness that Missy actually turned back to face him.

She stared at him and gave no response. The lack of a biting comment thrown back at him was worrying in itself.

“Right,” he said with a sigh. “I’m going to the shops - anything you need...other than sweets?”

“Eyeliner,” she said.

“Um...Missy, I just brought you that - and it is the third time this week - I don’t know how much eyeliner you need, but….do you remember?”

“Yes, of course I do,” she said simply.

He shrugged, deciding not to push her on why she needed to stockpile makeup, but making a mental note to ask the Doctor if there was any way she was melting it down to use as some kind of fuel, or making a weapon to cause temporary blindness.

“You need to take care of your hand,” he said, not questioning her request.

“‘I’m a Time Lord, not a human. I don’t need anything, it’ll heal by itself.”

“Ok, but to just humor me, I'm coming back with some gauze and bandages,” he said.

“An XBOX,” she said.

“Oh...well, maybe we can do that - i’d have to check with the Doctor,” he said.

Missy raised an eyebrow at him, “oh live a little - pop out now and you simply need to walk for five minutes. There’s a shop that has several in the window  - I have fifty pounds,” she said, as he watched in amazement as she pulled out a bundle of notes from her pocket and held them out to him. “It’s 55 but I could teach you some very basic hypnosis which will help you haggle. What do you say?”

Nardole felt utterly confused and the slightest bit scared, “have you been outside?”

Missy smiled, “why of course not.”

“Then how do you know this? Do you just let yourself out and go browsing the shops when we’re out?” he asked, the panic in his voice making her smile as he glanced around the vault, searching for unfamiliar items that she might have acquired.

Missy laughed, “now i’m offended. I take this oath as seriously as the Doctor does...no, actually that’s a lie, I take it _more_ seriously, because I actually stay here, and don’t swan off when the mood takes me. No I don’t pop out to the shops, I just tap into CCTV - this corner of the planet i’m trapped in right now has entire networks of cameras, they are really quite fun to watch at times. My favourite is the cluster of town centre cameras…” She paused and leaned towards Nardole, her voice a conspiratorial whisper, “you should watch those ones on Saturday nights - it can be very entertaining.”

He watched her in stunned sIlence as he contemplated how she had set up equipmemt to access entire systems of security cameras. Glancing around the vault he could see no sign of any technology that gave cause for concern.

“Oh! Which reminds me - I’d like some more popcorn, it’s not as much fun watching the Saturday night cameras without snacks.”

Nardole nodded, still stunned, “ok, popcorn I can do.”

He watched her as they fell into an awkward silence, her demeanour slipping back to the worrying detachment he was seeing lately.

“Do you...err….want to talk about anything?” Nardole asked, tensing as he even asked the question. He dreaded to think what could be on her mind, given the extensive research he had done on her past.

“No, I don’t,” she replied, but made no demand that he leave, so he stayed.

“Do you...want to look at those cat videos we found last week,” he asked, pulling his phone out of his pocket and holding it out to her.

Missy’s eyes softened and he was relieved to see her give the briefest of smiles as she grabbed his phone out of his hands in a split second, bypassing his pin in record time as she held the phone out, so they could both watch.

He felt more at ease as she began scrolling through the videos, telling him how much she liked cats - they knew how to control humans and were not afraid to manipulate them anyway they liked. For what Nardole was certain was the tenth time, she asked with growing excitement that he back her up with her intended request for a cat.

He was starting to think it was a good idea.

 

* * *

  
The Doctor went straight to her as soon as he returned. He had already promised himself that he wasn’t going to go anywere without talking to her about it first, it always put her in a bad pace and he cursed himself for not realising how it would affect her. It had been on his mind just how withdrawn she was becoming but she wouldn't open up and that left him unsure of how to deal with it.

When he entered the vault she was at her piano. Not wanting to interrupt he sat and listened to her play.

She knew he was there and relaxed when she sensed his presence. She played the piece to the end before turning around to meet his eyes.

“That was quite something,” he said with genuine appreciation for her talent.

She smiled and stood up, lifting her skirt slighting as she took the steps down from the platform before walking over to her chair and sitting down. She waited until he had taken his seat in the other chair and turned to him.

“I missed you,” she said simply.

He watched her cautiously, “sorry about that. I’m not going anywhere for the foreseeable. Missy - can I see your hand?”

She stated straight ahead, fixing her gaze firmly on the wall. “I'm fine. It's nothing.”

“Please? I want to help you. If you're feeling destructive - or self destructive….”

Missy sighed, turned in her chair, and held out her arm.

Taking her hand carefully, he pushed up her sleeve and turned her hand over, inspecting the healing wound surrounded by smaller scattered cuts.

“It looks like it's healing well, but I wish you would have let Nardole help, I hate to think you were in pain.”

“I've had much worse, it's fine.”

“I'm concerned about you,” he said, moving his chair closer until he could reach out, his hand resting on her shoulder.

She smiled at the contact and he felt a flood of relief to see a flicker of anything other than the unsettling detachment he had seen lately.

“Are you having nightmares?” he asked.

She tensed and he didn’t need her to answer to know that she was.

“Talk to me,” he said, his voice almost a plea.

“I have horror and death and cruelty in my head Doctor. So many lives, so many worlds - and they are all there in my mind. Memories haunting me. Maybe they should? Maybe I should feel constant torment - is that good in your estimation?”

“It’s a positive thing that you are processing your actions Missy, but I think sometimes you have too much at once and it overloads you. Constant torment isn’t good - you need to work through things gradually.”

“I can’t atone for so many lives - I don’t even think I deserve to redeem myself. There is no redemption for so much loss of life.”

“You are not the same person that you used to be - you have changed Missy - and you’re still changing. This isn’t going to be an easy journey, but you are developing regret, compassion, responsibility - this is very big progress.”

“It swarms me Doctor, the horror, the gravity of my lives, and in here all I can do is think. Sometimes I feel like throwing myself at the walls to make it stop.”

He looked at her in concern, “it’s too isolated in here, that’s not helping you.”

Her head snapped up and her eyes locked with his with a sudden intensity, “a pet would be a good idea. A very good idea. A cat. I like cats.”

“Maybe we should start small...a mouse perhaps?” he said.

“Ok, but mice are boring, so when I keep the mouse relatively unharmed for an acceptable period then I can get a cat, who could then eat the mouse! See how perfect this plan is?”

“That might not be the greatest outcome for the mouse, perhaps cat toys would be better, something non lethal.”

Missy smiled, content that he was finding himself making plans about the cat she knew he’d give in about eventually.

“When did you eat last? Nardole said you’re not eating what he brings you.”

Missy shook her head in annoyance, “well Nardole is a little snitch, I eat lots of things he brings me, just not foor per se. I forget to - i’m not trying to starve myself. It’s just a whole day can go by and I realise i’ve barely moved sometimes.”

He realised why Nardole was concerned about her, and decided that he had to do something - if she was struggling so much then he was simply failing her, he had to do more to do right by her.

“Trayton,” he said, his hand squeezing her shoulder gently before moving down and taking hold of hers. “It has miles of sand dunes, and the night sky is always crystal clear. Great spot for a picnic. We could stay for a few hours - or more, because this place is unhealthy, and it's not helping you to be so shut off. I could go and move the TARDIS to the door and you could just walk straight in. I'm not doing right by you like this.”

Missy stared at him, taken back. “ _And then come back here_. I want to Doctor, quite desperately if you must know, but if it's a ploy to lift my spirits and satisfy yourself that i've eaten well, then please don't. Going Out would be torture if It was going to be another 70 years or more before I did it again.”

He brought his other hand to her cheek, wiping at a stray tear that fell. He felt a stab of guilt that she had misunderstood him.

“Missy, I meant that I think I'm going about this wrong. I think you're ready to start going outside, not just on a one off trip. I just thought Trayton was a good place to start. I didn't know if you'd want some where busy, and easing you in would probably be advisable.”

“Plus then we’ll know if I'm going to go on a killing spree or something antisocial like that,” she said.

“I didn't mean that,” he sighed. “I do need to consider..precautions, but if I thought for a second you would harm anyone I wouldn’t even do this.”

“Sorry, I know you're trying to help. I would like to go on a trip. When can we go?”

“As soon as you're ready?” he said.

She turned to look at him in surprise, “today?”

She didn't want to admit it but the thought of leaving the vault at all was suddenly quite terrifying. It was ridiculous. She desperately wanted to leave yet as soon as she had a chance to she was filled with dread. She hated harboring such confusing feelings and reactions.

 

* * *

She had planned to appear casual as the Doctor arrived, but instead she found herself pacing back and forth at the door and continuously smoothing down her jacket, checking for creases. She was a bundle of nerves and hiding that fact wasn't going to be likely.

She heard the sound of his TARDIS materialising outside and her panic grew stronger. This was ridiculous.

He opened the door and her eyes darted about the brief gap between the vault door and his TARDIS. She couldn't get past the gap, so the Doctor wasn't worried, but the fact that she was so on edge was not lost on him.

“Ready?” he asked, holding out his arm.

She smiled, attempting to appear calm and nonchalant but failing as she took his arm tighter than she intended to. He didn't comment and guided her inside.

She relaxed slightly once inside his TARDIS, and he decided not to go straight away. She seemed far more settled and less lethargic now that she was there.

She took great interest in his console, and walked around looking over the controls. He asked her how their consoles differed and she made a few comments but lacked detail.

Her TARDIS had been an off limits topic between them. He never could understand why. He knew she had one but assumed she kept at a safe distance, using teleport to travel to and from it. But she would always shut down.

He didn't want to make her uncomfortable she  she was clearly already on edge, but he decided to push her a little.

“My swimming pool keeps moving, lots of rooms do. I feel like she's doing it on purpose," he said.

“She probably is. I wonder though - your library doesn't does it?”

“No, you're right...do you know why?”

She smiled. “Mine does that too. I think they want us all work and no play sometimes. I locked the position of my cinema - mine can't move it however hard she tries.”

“If I try that it just resets. Can you show me how you Did that?”

“I don't keep.pets like you do Doctor. Im not used to explanations. I'm much more hands on.

"Oh I know, that's what I meant. I didn't put all this security in.place because I don’t trust you to make a pot of tea. I just couldn't refine it with enough depth. The doors yes, the controls, yes, but the rest is on or off - could you help me with it?”

“You want me to set my own anti Missy controls?” she said with amusement.

“Well,” he said, with a sheepish smile that made her suddenly want to grab him and kiss him, “yes.”

Missy didn’t quite know how to feel about the gesture - he was watching her like a hawk, but he had given her access to the entire console and as she began to input commands, temptation felt like it was dancing under fingertips while her hands moved around the controls.

Despite this she found herself tweaking the controls in a completely benign way, despite the many ideas for amusing or dangerous traps that flickered through her mind.

She turned to the Doctor and cast him an annoyed glare, “are you even paying attention? You will never learn to fly this thing if you don’t learn how to do operations like this!”

He smiled at her, "well maybe you could teach me.”

“Oh I see what this is, free labour - shall I read the TARDIS manual to you too?” she said in amusement, shaking her head.

“It’s your choice - you don't have to, but if you’re bored - you can always spend some time here.”

She stepped back, not sure how she wanted to respond to his offer and looked at him as she gestured to the console, “all yours. I bio locked myself out of the controls.”

“You didn’t have to do that - unless of course you prefer my driving,” he said.

Missy laughed, “let’s not go that far Doctor. It’s only because I really, _really_ want to steal your TARDIS - so i'd rather not have that temptation. It will take me twenty minutes or so to gain control this way. Sort of a buffer to give me time to think any hijack attempts through.”

He saw through the humour to the honesty underneath and nodded before imputing the coordinates. It felt good to be standing at the controls with her, and he couldn't help the way he had a flash of hope that she might travel with him some day. That they might reach that point where they really would see every star together.

Under the night sky they sat side by side on a large blanket, the picnic spread out between them. Missy leaned back, her hands purposefully off the edge of the blanket as she pressed her palms into the earth beneath her. She tilted her head back, her eyes closed as she enjoyed the sensations all around her. The gentle breeze, warmth remaining from the planet’s sun despite the darkened skies around them.

He mirrored her pose, but stretched his arm a little further until his hand reached hers. He felt her freeze in surprise for the briefest of moments as his hand covered hers lightly. He watched her as she turned her head to face him, and she shifted position, moving on to her side so that their hands remained touching.

He again mirrored her position and looked into her eyes. It was always hard to see the truth, however badly he wanted to. His hope had been burned too many times by the Master, so he fought his acceptance of what appeared to be genuine change.

She held his gaze steadily, her eyes as searching just as his did, and he realised for the first time that maybe she was also afraid that he would not see this through, and not see the possibility of change within her.

“Can you do this Doctor?”

“This? I suppose you don’t mean a picnic. Yes, I promise you I can -  I know you can be amazing.”

“You’ll get bored and take your little humans off to wow them with the wonders of the universe, don’t lie and tell me you won’t do that for a thousand years,” she said, and he was struck by the tinge of vulnerability he heard in her voice.

“Maybe i’m tempted to, but I promise you, I won’t let you down,” he said, before inching closer and placing a kiss on her forehead.

Missy closed her eyes and smiled, she believed him.

Once they both felt ready to leave, they didn't delay returning, both feeling the temptation to simply fly away. The Doctor materialised outside the vault and remained at the console, inputting data until he looked up at her and smiled.

“Twenty minutes you said? That’s the right amount of time to think and avoid temptation?”

“Seems about right,” she said, as she stood at the open TARDIS doorway, looking into the vault.

“Ok then. I hope you’re in the mood for visitors, because I won’t be able to move my TARDIS for twenty minutes...or maybe an hour, it was not as easy as you made it look - I may have lacked some precision.”

She looked at him, surprised, “you locked yourself out too?”

“I’m here with you Missy, I promise you,” he said.

She smiled as she took his hand and walked through the doors, leading him into the vault. She kept hold of his hand as she led him toward her bed, stopping as she gestured for him to sit down.

“Stay with me tonight,” she whispered.

He nodded with out hesitation and slipped off his jacket, placing it carefully over a chair before positioning himself on her bed, his back against the headboard.

She removed her jacket too, placing it over his, and climbed onto the bed, shuffling down and resting her head on his lap. His hand moved to her head, his fingers running through her hair as she smiled contentedly and curled her body closer into his.

“It’s you and me Missy, and it always has been,” he said, closing his eyes and enjoying the closeness of his oldest friend, “I will be here with you, I promise you.”


End file.
